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Dad jokes

Started By KadinB , Sep 28 2021 4:30 PM

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160 replies to this topic

#121 Offline bmb1bee - Posted July 21 2022 - 6:33 PM

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Why can you find ants at flea markets?

 

Because they were shopping for ANTiques.


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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#122 Offline FloridaAnts - Posted July 21 2022 - 7:17 PM

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Why can you find ants at flea markets?
 
Because they were shopping for ANTiques.


People on here must spend like all the hours in a day to come up With these, be talented, or have a book “Ant Dad Jokes, 2020-2025 Edition”.
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#123 Offline bmb1bee - Posted July 22 2022 - 12:56 PM

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Why can you find ants at flea markets?
 
Because they were shopping for ANTiques.


People on here must spend like all the hours in a day to come up With these, be talented, or have a book “Ant Dad Jokes, 2020-2025 Edition”.

 

I guess I must've been grANTed the ability to come up with dad jokes like these.


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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#124 Offline FloridaAnts - Posted July 22 2022 - 5:13 PM

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Why can you find ants at flea markets?
 
Because they were shopping for ANTiques.


People on here must spend like all the hours in a day to come up With these, be talented, or have a book “Ant Dad Jokes, 2020-2025 Edition”.
I guess I must've been grANTed the ability to come up with dad jokes like these.

This man must have the 2026-2030 edition already!
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#125 Offline bmb1bee - Posted August 12 2022 - 8:57 PM

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Why can you find ants at flea markets?
 
Because they were shopping for ANTiques.


People on here must spend like all the hours in a day to come up With these, be talented, or have a book “Ant Dad Jokes, 2020-2025 Edition”.
I guess I must've been grANTed the ability to come up with dad jokes like these.

This man must have the 2026-2030 edition already!

 

Now I really cAN'T stop making these scANT ant puns...


"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#126 Offline futurebird - Posted August 12 2022 - 10:02 PM

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An alate went to the ant wedding dress shop and told the seamstress "I want a dress just like those other ants."
"Which ants?" Said the seamstress
"Those ants ... right there!" She said.
"Where? What are their dresses made of?" Said the seamstress

Then the ants who already had their dresses called out turning to show their dresses.

"Lace! see us?"


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Starting this July I'm posting videos of my ants every week on youTube.

I like to make relaxing videos that capture the joy of watching ants.

If that sounds like your kind of thing... follow me >here<. 

#127 Offline ANTdrew - Posted August 13 2022 - 2:41 AM

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An alate went to the ant wedding dress shop and told the seamstress "I want a dress just like those other ants."
"Which ants?" Said the seamstress
"Those ants ... right there!" She said.
"Where? What are their dresses made of?" Said the seamstress
Then the ants who already had their dresses called out turning to show their dresses.
"Lace! see us?"

That’s a humdinger!
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#128 Offline lazyant - Posted August 13 2022 - 7:56 AM

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Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!

I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.

What is a poor Santa called? Saint Nickeless


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"Loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix." -Comic book guy 

#129 Offline futurebird - Posted August 13 2022 - 6:56 PM

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Another terrible ant joke. (possibly the worst one ever)

 

A worker asked the queen "Did you have sisters?"
"Oh yes" said the queen "Thousands we flew together!"
"wow" said the worker "I have so many aunts."


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Starting this July I'm posting videos of my ants every week on youTube.

I like to make relaxing videos that capture the joy of watching ants.

If that sounds like your kind of thing... follow me >here<. 

#130 Offline PaigeX - Posted August 14 2022 - 4:44 AM

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Another terrible ant joke. (possibly the worst one ever)

 

A worker asked the queen "Did you have sisters?"
"Oh yes" said the queen "Thousands we flew together!"
"wow" said the worker "I have so many aunts."

just think of all the uncles that died xD


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Favourite Genus: Polyrhachis 

 
Journal: Main

Instagram: australian_polyrhachis

 

May God Bless you.

#131 Offline FloridaAnts - Posted August 14 2022 - 5:53 PM

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Another terrible ant joke. (possibly the worst one ever)

 

A worker asked the queen "Did you have sisters?"
"Oh yes" said the queen "Thousands we flew together!"
"wow" said the worker "I have so many aunts."

just think of all the uncles that died xD

 

I wonder what workers would think if they realized that their aunts or great aunt wanted them dead to eliminate competition.


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#132 Offline ANTdrew - Posted October 16 2022 - 1:48 PM

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What do dung beetles say when they need to go to work?

Doodoo calls
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#133 Offline bmb1bee - Posted October 16 2022 - 3:04 PM

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Here's one:
Where do phoretic mites like to go in the summer?

Camp-Onotus  :lol:


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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#134 Offline ANTdrew - Posted October 16 2022 - 3:05 PM

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What is the strongest sea creature??

Mussels
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#135 Offline bmb1bee - Posted October 17 2022 - 7:33 AM

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When is the best time to buy chicks?

 

When they're cheep.


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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#136 Offline azzaaazzzz00 - Posted October 18 2022 - 3:57 PM

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I have been inactive for most of the summer and I come back for thirty seconds...this has to be the first thing I see. WHYYYYYYYYYY, your killin me, people.


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Been keeping ants since January of 2021

Always try new things, even if its hard, hard is not impossible. We are smart and it's good to be smart but not too smart for your own good.

#137 Offline ColAnt735 - Posted October 18 2022 - 4:39 PM

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What kind of egg do evil chickens lay?
Deviled Eggs.

I sold the vacuum cleaner because all it was doing was gathering dust.
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"If an ant carries an object a hundred times it's weight,you can carry burdens many times your size.

#138 Offline bmb1bee - Posted October 18 2022 - 8:09 PM

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What did the bumblebee queen tell her newly hatched larva?

 

Don't worry, you'll bee a worker someday.


"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#139 Offline T.C. - Posted November 10 2022 - 9:15 PM

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med_gallery_1073_688_180231.jpg


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“If I am killed for simply living, let death be kinder than man.” -Althea Davis

#140 Offline NickAnter - Posted November 10 2022 - 9:59 PM

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What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

 

What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rino?

Ellifiknow.


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Hi there! I went on a 6 month or so hiatus, in part due, and in part cause of the death of my colonies. 

However, I went back to the Sierras, and restarted my collection, which is now as follows:

Aphaenogaster uinta, Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus modoc, Formica cf. aserva, Formica cf. micropthalma, Formica cf. manni, Formica subpolita, Formica cf. subaenescens, Lasius americanus, Manica invidia, Pogonomyrmex salinus, Pogonomyrmex sp. 1, Solenopsis validiuscula, & Solenopsis sp. 3 (new Sierra variant). 

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