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Dad jokes

Started By KadinB , Sep 28 2021 4:30 PM

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160 replies to this topic

#81 Offline Idontexist - Posted May 29 2022 - 8:30 AM

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RIP it was a very funny thread
but who says it won't be reawakened by a noob in like 3 years disturbing the dreaded Manitobant

he predicted the future

RIP it was a very funny thread
but who says it won't be reawakened by a noob in like 3 years disturbing the dreaded Manitobant

you predicted the future
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#82 Offline bmb1bee - Posted May 29 2022 - 11:36 AM

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What do French anteaters eat?

CroissANTS
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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#83 Offline ANTdrew - Posted May 29 2022 - 12:51 PM

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What do French anteaters eat?

CroissANTS

That’s a humdinger!
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#84 Offline azzaaazzzz00 - Posted May 29 2022 - 2:39 PM

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This is a terrible joke because I just made it up:

 

What does an antkeeper say when they're leafcutter queen is finally laying eggs?

 

ATTA girl!

 

What am I doing with my life...well, time to smash my computer

(I'm probably going to edit this post to "." at some point, this can not be left alive)


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Been keeping ants since January of 2021

Always try new things, even if its hard, hard is not impossible. We are smart and it's good to be smart but not too smart for your own good.

#85 Offline FloridaAnts - Posted May 30 2022 - 12:25 PM

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This is a terrible joke because I just made it up:
 
What does an antkeeper say when they're leafcutter queen is finally laying eggs?
 
ATTA girl!
 
What am I doing with my life...well, time to smash my computer
(I'm probably going to edit this post to "." at some point, this can not be left alive)


Ima go ahead an ruin it for everyone, what if it was a acromyrmex queen? Or the other species that cut leaves? Like trachymyrmex?

#86 Offline ANTdrew - Posted May 30 2022 - 2:55 PM

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This is a terrible joke because I just made it up:

What does an antkeeper say when they're leafcutter queen is finally laying eggs?

ATTA girl!

What am I doing with my life...well, time to smash my computer
(I'm probably going to edit this post to "." at some point, this can not be left alive)

Ima go ahead an ruin it for everyone, what if it was a acromyrmex queen? Or the other species that cut leaves? Like trachymyrmex?
Also: their
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#87 Offline ZTYguy - Posted May 30 2022 - 11:38 PM

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This is a terrible joke because I just made it up:
 
What does an antkeeper say when they're leafcutter queen is finally laying eggs?
 
ATTA girl!
 
What am I doing with my life...well, time to smash my computer
(I'm probably going to edit this post to "." at some point, this can not be left alive)


Ima go ahead an ruin it for everyone, what if it was a acromyrmex queen? Or the other species that cut leaves? Like trachymyrmex?

 

They are all in the tribe Attini so it counts.


  • Antkeeper01, Chickalo, azzaaazzzz00 and 1 other like this

Ant Keeping Since June 2018
Currently Keeping:
A. versicolor, C. us-ca02, C. yogi, C. Vicinus, C. laevigatus, C. clarithorax, C. maritimus, C. ocreatus, M. mexicanus, M. placodops 01, V. andrei, V. pergandei, N. cockerelli, P. barbata, P. montanus

Hoping to Catch This season:

M. romanei, M. placodops 02, P. imberbiculus, Polyergus sp., F. moki, A. megomatta, Cyphomyrmex sp.,Temnothorax sp.

#88 Offline futurebird - Posted May 31 2022 - 3:42 AM

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Why was the pupae shopping for garments online?

 

She was excited to get e-clothed

 

 

---

 

I saw some ants setting up little tents on the branch of a tree. So I said "are you planning to spend the night there?"

 

They seemed very flustered. 

 

"Camp? oh not us!"


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Starting this July I'm posting videos of my ants every week on youTube.

I like to make relaxing videos that capture the joy of watching ants.

If that sounds like your kind of thing... follow me >here<. 

#89 Offline azzaaazzzz00 - Posted May 31 2022 - 3:45 AM

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I can't do this anymore, this will make me cry lol...


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Been keeping ants since January of 2021

Always try new things, even if its hard, hard is not impossible. We are smart and it's good to be smart but not too smart for your own good.

#90 Offline Idontexist - Posted May 31 2022 - 2:56 PM

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I can't do this anymore, this will make me cry lol...

ok time to do a bad one


What did the amogus crewmate with balls say to ectatomma tuberculatum?

He said ساسي بيننا مثلي الجنس الإباحية فروي السيد فول among us poppy playtime squid game bendy scp survival funny videos punjabi
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#91 Offline bmb1bee - Posted May 31 2022 - 4:26 PM

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I can't do this anymore, this will make me cry lol...

ok time to do a bad one


What did the amogus crewmate with balls say to ectatomma tuberculatum?

He said ساسي بيننا مثلي الجنس الإباحية فروي السيد فول among us poppy playtime squid game bendy scp survival funny videos punjabi

 

:/


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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#92 Offline bmb1bee - Posted May 31 2022 - 7:55 PM

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What kind of clothing do ants wear?

 

pANTS


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"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#93 Offline Leptomyrmx - Posted June 18 2022 - 5:49 PM

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we need a downvote function :/


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My Ants:

Colonies: Camponotus humilior 1w, Opisthopsis rufithorax 11w, Aphaenogaster longiceps ~5w, Pheidole sp. ~235w ~15m, Iridomyrmex sp. 2q 1w, Brachyponera lutea 6w, Crematogaster sp. ~20w, Podomyrma sp. 1w

Queens: Polyrhachis cf. robinsoni, Polyrhachis (Campomyrma) sp. (likely infertile)

Previously Kept: Colobopsis gasseri, Technomyrmex sp., Rhytidoponera victorae, Nylanderia cf. rosae, Myrmecia brevinoda/forficata, Polyrhachis australis, Solenopsis/Monomorium

Key: Q = Queen, W = Worker, M = Major

Youtube Channel: Ants of Sydney - YouTube

Patreon (for YouTube channel): https://www.patreon.com/antsofsydney

#94 Offline Idontexist - Posted June 18 2022 - 5:52 PM

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we need a downvote function :/

yeah

we need a downvote function :/

yeah

#95 Offline ANTdrew - Posted June 18 2022 - 6:25 PM

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we need a downvote function :/

yeah

we need a downvote function :/

yeah
Time for you to find another corner of the interweb.
  • Antkeeper01, Chickalo, PaigeX and 5 others like this
"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#96 Offline bmb1bee - Posted June 18 2022 - 6:28 PM

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Heres mine: a peni$ walks into a bar and gets stuck in a crack. The end

Like, I cannot imagine any kind of dad telling a joke like this… It’s both vulgar and unfunny.
  • Antkeeper01, Chickalo, Leptomyrmx and 3 others like this

"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee, his eyes can't hit what the eyes can't see." - Muhammad Ali

 

Check out my shop and Camponotus journal! Discord user is bmb1bee if you'd like to chat.

#97 Offline FloridaAnts - Posted June 18 2022 - 6:31 PM

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Heres mine: a peni$ walks into a bar and gets stuck in a crack. The end

Like, I cannot imagine any kind of dad telling a joke like this… It’s both vulgar and unfunny.

It would have to be a pretty drunk, immature, and a terrible dad to tell it.
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#98 Offline FloridaAnts - Posted June 18 2022 - 6:32 PM

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we need a downvote function :/


Yep. Unfortunately that is not a thing here, so we are stuck with zero likes for that instead
*starts liking every non bad post
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#99 Offline ColAnt735 - Posted June 19 2022 - 4:09 AM

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I'll try and lighten the mood... And by that I mean you might want to smash your devices.

What sound does a witch's vehicle make?

Broooom! Broooom! Broooom!

 

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

 

Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?

They work on so many levels.

 

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

 

 (Seinfeld intro starts playing)

 

Comedy Gold!


Edited by ColAnt735, June 19 2022 - 4:10 AM.

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"If an ant carries an object a hundred times it's weight,you can carry burdens many times your size.

#100 Offline That_one_ant_guy - Posted June 19 2022 - 6:58 AM

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I am sorry young ones, but the deed has to be done...

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milk shake

What do you call a karate pig?
Porkchop

How many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh?
Ten tickles

What kinda of car does pasta drive?
A spugatti

How do you fix a pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch

What does a cat say whenever it messes up?
You've got to be kitten me

Why do you always knock on a fridge before opening it?
Incase there's a salad dressing

What do you call an elephant that doesn't exist?
An irrelphant

Random questions that'll keep you up at night:

Does Mike Wazowski blink or wink?

If you wait for your waiter to get you you're food, doesn't that make you a waiter?

If you try to fail but you succeed, which one did you do?

If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?

If I drop soap on the floor is soap dirty or is the floor clean?

Is cearal a soup?

If we clean a vacuum cleaner, doesn't that make us a vacuum cleaner?

If ponokio says that his nose will grow will it grow or stay the same?



I spent way too much time on this, lol(this is also the 100th post)

Edited by That_one_ant_guy, June 19 2022 - 8:21 AM.

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