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Dad jokes

Started By KadinB , Sep 28 2021 4:30 PM

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160 replies to this topic

#21 Offline KadinB - Posted September 28 2021 - 10:27 PM

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I freak out whenever my dad says this to me

Me: "I'm tired"
My Dad: "hi tired, I'm Isaac"

he also does tons and tons more but I don't want to kill anyone else :D

hi Hungry


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#22 Offline ANTdrew - Posted September 29 2021 - 2:05 AM

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What do you call a quesadilla you leave overnight?


A quesanoche
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#23 Offline Chickalo - Posted September 29 2021 - 4:03 AM

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Don't encourage him. He already sends me one every day he remembers to. :facepalm:

"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."
STOP!!! Its not funny and your not a dad.

 

you're :)


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シグナチャーです。예.

 

#24 Offline Chickalo - Posted September 29 2021 - 4:07 AM

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What did Mother Dearest tomato do to Child Tomato whilst he was falling behind?

 

She squished him and said "ketchup" (catch up)

 

I'm sorry I had to


Edited by Chickalo, September 29 2021 - 4:07 AM.

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シグナチャーです。예.

 

#25 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 29 2021 - 5:30 AM

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I don't trust the stairs. They're always up to something.

 

3 guys walked into a bar. The 4th one ducked.

 

That graveyard sure looks crowded. People must be dying to get in.

 

 

You're welcome.  :o  :lol:  


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Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#26 Offline CasiahJade - Posted September 29 2021 - 6:58 AM

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I'm not a father, so if I tell a dad joke its a faux pa.

 

I'm not sure what qualities make it a dad joke, I just know that its apparent.

 

If it is a circular drive, how do you get out?

 

Shouldn't wingless fruitflys be called fruitwalks?

 

Pro- means good; and Con- is the opposite of -pro.  So what's the opposite of progress?

 

Q: What did Baby Corn say to Momma Corn?
A: Where's Pop Corn?

 

Q: What are two things you will never eat for breakfast?

A: Lunch and Dinner


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#27 Offline AntBoi3030 - Posted September 29 2021 - 1:51 PM

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This thread kills me
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My favorite queens/colony’s:
Pheidole Tysoni, Selonopis Molesta, Brachymyrmex Depilis, Tetramorium Immagrians, Prenolepis Imparis, Pheidole Bicirinata 

#28 Offline ANTdrew - Posted September 29 2021 - 2:21 PM

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What’s the latest amphibian?

The newt
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#29 Offline ANTdrew - Posted September 29 2021 - 2:30 PM

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What bear makes the best dentist?


The molar bear!
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#30 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 29 2021 - 2:43 PM

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What's big, yellow, and sinks in water?

 

A school bus.


Edited by PetsNotPests, September 29 2021 - 2:44 PM.

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Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#31 Offline AntsLA-1 - Posted September 29 2021 - 2:53 PM

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What's big, yellow, and sinks in water?

 

A school bus.

 

 

:o


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Ants are cute, that's that.

 

 

Currently Keeping:

 

Nothing

#32 Offline Antkeeper01 - Posted September 29 2021 - 3:17 PM

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Why can't ants get sick?

 

because they have anty-bodies

 

 

 

What's brown and sticky?

 

A stick

 

 

 

Who is young and tired of school?

 

Me


Edited by Antkeeper01, September 29 2021 - 3:20 PM.

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1X Pogonomyrmex occidentalis 40-50 Workers

1X Solenopsis molesta 10 Workers (mono)

Ants I Want: Crematogaster sp, Camponotus Sp., Ponera Pennsylvanica, Mymercocystus sp.

 

My Youtube channel: https://www.youtube....kUjx-dPFMyVqOLw

 

 Join Our Fledgling Discord Server https://discord.com/...089056687423489

#33 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 29 2021 - 3:18 PM

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Why can't ants get sick?

 

because they have anty-bodies

 

 

 

What's brown and sticky?

 

A stick

Nicely done  :lol:


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Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#34 Offline KadinB - Posted September 29 2021 - 6:34 PM

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This thread kills me

haha same!


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#35 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 29 2021 - 9:19 PM

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Confucius say he who run in front of car get tired, and he who run behind car get exhausted.

Ok this ones actually good.
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#36 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 30 2021 - 6:17 AM

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Confucius say he who run in front of car get tired, and he who run behind car get exhausted.

Ok this ones actually good.

 

*Cries*


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Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#37 Offline NickAnter - Posted September 30 2021 - 3:05 PM

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Why did the duck get arrested?

Because it was selling quack.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have an awful fear of apartment complexes.

I guess I have a complex complex complex.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did the idiot say to the smart person?

"You're an idiot!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


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Hi there! I went on a 6 month or so hiatus, in part due, and in part cause of the death of my colonies. 

However, I went back to the Sierras, and restarted my collection, which is now as follows:

Aphaenogaster uinta, Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus modoc, Formica cf. aserva, Formica cf. micropthalma, Formica cf. manni, Formica subpolita, Formica cf. subaenescens, Lasius americanus, Manica invidia, Pogonomyrmex salinus, Pogonomyrmex sp. 1, Solenopsis validiuscula, & Solenopsis sp. 3 (new Sierra variant). 

#38 Offline futurebird - Posted September 30 2021 - 3:23 PM

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weapons grade groaners.


Starting this July I'm posting videos of my ants every week on youTube.

I like to make relaxing videos that capture the joy of watching ants.

If that sounds like your kind of thing... follow me >here<. 

#39 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 30 2021 - 4:04 PM

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Why did the duck get arrested?

Because it was selling quack.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have an awful fear of apartment complexes.

I guess I have a complex complex complex.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did the idiot say to the smart person?

"You're an idiot!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First ones good. Also stop liking my posts guys. Yro'ue just making this thread more popular.  :facepalm:


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#40 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 30 2021 - 4:08 PM

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STOP!


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