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Dad jokes

Started By KadinB , Sep 28 2021 4:30 PM

118 replies to this topic

#1 Offline KadinB - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:30 PM

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Comment some dad jokes!


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#2 Online ANTdrew - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:41 PM

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What are whale houses made of?

Narwhals
  • TennesseeAnts, Antkeeper01, KadinB and 5 others like this
"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#3 Online ANTdrew - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:42 PM

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What’s the largest species of ant?


The giant
  • TennesseeAnts, DDD101DDD, KadinB and 7 others like this
"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#4 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:51 PM

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Don't encourage him. He already sends me one every day he remembers to.  :facepalm:


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#5 Offline KadinB - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:52 PM

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Don't encourage him. He already sends me one every day he remembers to.  :facepalm:

"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."


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#6 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:53 PM

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Don't encourage him. He already sends me one every day he remembers to. :facepalm:

"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."
STOP!!! Its not funny and your not a dad.
  • KadinB and eea like this

#7 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:53 PM

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What do you call an old ant?

 

Antique.  :facepalm:

 

 

This thread's gonna kill me. 


  • TennesseeAnts, ANTdrew, DDD101DDD and 5 others like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#8 Offline KadinB - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:54 PM

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What do you call an old ant?

 

Antique.  :facepalm:

 

 

This thread's gonna kill me. 

haha same! These already got me dead.


  • Chickalo and eea like this

#9 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:56 PM

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WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Why must u encourage him.
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#10 Online ANTdrew - Posted September 28 2021 - 4:56 PM

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What’s the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

Outlaws are wanted!
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"The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer." Prov. 30:25
Keep ordinary ants in extraordinary ways.

#11 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 5:50 PM

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Sorry in advance-

 

 

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

 

The "P" (Pee) is silent. 

 

 

Told you. 


Edited by PetsNotPests, September 28 2021 - 5:53 PM.

  • TennesseeAnts, TestSubjectOne, Antkeeper01 and 4 others like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#12 Offline NickAnter - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:02 PM

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what's so great about Switzerland?

 

I don't know, but I've heard the flag is a great plus!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If two vegans are fighting, is it still a beef?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How does a mermaid wash it's tail?

It uses Tide.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toasty.

Man they really grilled me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?

A trumpet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

I just can't put it down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?

The doctor said he was all right, but the nurse said there wasn't much left.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did the clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because it was a little horse.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?

Because he had a great fall.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy!


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Species being kept:

 

 Solenopsis "plebeius", Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus maritimus, Formica cf. subaenescens, Formica cf. aerata, Lasius cf. americanus, Lasius aphidicola, Lasius brevicornis, Lasius nr claviger, Nylanderia vividula, Temnothorax rudis and a Hypoponera sp.

 

Hoping to find this year:

Myrmecocystus, Liometopum occidentale, Camponotus essigi, Camponotus fragilis, Manica bradleyi, Formica perpilosa, Pheidole hyatti, and a Parasitic Formica sp.

 

People are stupid. It explains a lot...

#13 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:05 PM

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what's so great about Switzerland?

 

I don't know, but I've heard the flag is a great plus!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If two vegans are fighting, is it still a beef?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How does a mermaid wash it's tail?

It uses Tide.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toasty.

Man they really grilled me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?

A trumpet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

I just can't put it down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?

The doctor said he was all right, but the nurse said there wasn't much left.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did the clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because it was a little horse.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?

Because he had a great fall.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy!

:facepalm: :dash:   :suicide:


  • KadinB, Chickalo, eea and 1 other like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#14 Offline strawnkayden1 - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:13 PM

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what's so great about Switzerland?

I don't know, but I've heard the flag is a great plus!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If two vegans are fighting, is it still a beef?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does a mermaid wash it's tail?
It uses Tide.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toasty.
Man they really grilled me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?
A trumpet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I just can't put it down.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?
The doctor said he was all right, but the nurse said there wasn't much left.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because it was a little horse.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?
Because he had a great fall.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy!

:facepalm: :dash: :suicide:
:jumps:
  • KadinB, Chickalo and Dumpling like this

#15 Offline M_Ants - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:30 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica


  • NickAnter, KadinB, Chickalo and 1 other like this

Veromessor pergandei- 1 queens 50ish workers

Myrmecocystus testaceus

Crematogaster sp. 

Acromyrmex

Camponotus yogi

Pogonomyrmex

https://www.youtube....FG7utFVBA/about

#16 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:49 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica

 

Define dad joke: An unoriginal or unfunny joke.

Define this joke:  :suicide:

 

This is next level  :lol:


  • KadinB, Chickalo and Dumpling like this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#17 Offline M_Ants - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:53 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica

 

Define dad joke: An unoriginal or unfunny joke.

Define this joke:  :suicide:

 

This is next level  :lol:

 

Dad jokes are my specialty. Don't think you ant-ticipated this quality though.  

Sorry that's even worse of a joke lol


Edited by M_Ants, September 28 2021 - 6:55 PM.

  • KadinB, Chickalo, PetsNotPests and 1 other like this

Veromessor pergandei- 1 queens 50ish workers

Myrmecocystus testaceus

Crematogaster sp. 

Acromyrmex

Camponotus yogi

Pogonomyrmex

https://www.youtube....FG7utFVBA/about

#18 Offline PetsNotPests - Posted September 28 2021 - 6:58 PM

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What continent do ants like best?

antarctica

 

Define dad joke: An unoriginal or unfunny joke.

Define this joke:  :suicide:

 

This is next level  :lol:

 

Dad jokes are my specialty. Don't think you ant-ticipated this quality though.  

Sorry that's even worse of a joke lol

 

I now have depression.  :lol:


  • KadinB likes this

Ants are Pets, not Pests. 

 

-Camponotus sansabeanus

-Camponotus US-CA02

-Camponotus vicinus

-Formica podzolica

-Monomorium spp.

-Pogonomyrmex californicus

-Solenopsis spp. 

 

#19 Offline NancyZamora4991 - Posted September 28 2021 - 7:44 PM

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I freak out whenever my dad says this to me

 

Me: "I'm tired"

My Dad: "hi tired, I'm Isaac"

 

he also does tons and tons more but I don't want to kill anyone else :D


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#20 Offline NickAnter - Posted September 28 2021 - 7:47 PM

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Confucius say he who run in front of car get tired, and he who run behind car get exhausted.


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Species being kept:

 

 Solenopsis "plebeius", Camponotus vicinus, Camponotus maritimus, Formica cf. subaenescens, Formica cf. aerata, Lasius cf. americanus, Lasius aphidicola, Lasius brevicornis, Lasius nr claviger, Nylanderia vividula, Temnothorax rudis and a Hypoponera sp.

 

Hoping to find this year:

Myrmecocystus, Liometopum occidentale, Camponotus essigi, Camponotus fragilis, Manica bradleyi, Formica perpilosa, Pheidole hyatti, and a Parasitic Formica sp.

 

People are stupid. It explains a lot...

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