Jump to content

  • Chat
  •  
  •  

Welcome to Formiculture.com!

This is a website for anyone interested in Myrmecology and all aspects of finding, keeping, and studying ants. The site and forum are free to use. Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation points to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!

Photo

Clean Jokes


  • Please log in to reply
113 replies to this topic

#81 Offline 1000101011 - Posted December 30 2016 - 2:53 AM

1000101011

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 19 posts

define clean.



#82 Offline dspdrew - Posted December 30 2016 - 6:27 AM

dspdrew
  • LocationSanta Ana, CA

Wasn't my thread, but I would say anything that doesn't break rule #3.

 

3. No posting any messages that are obscene, indecent, profane, vulgar, sexually oriented, or violate any US laws.

  • Crystals likes this

#83 Offline 1000101011 - Posted December 30 2016 - 9:49 AM

1000101011

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 19 posts

you won't appreciate my humor then. 



#84 Offline Connectimyrmex - Posted December 30 2016 - 10:41 AM

Connectimyrmex

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,864 posts
  • LocationAvon, Connecticut

In honor of the dead Pokemon Go

 

How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You pokemon! (poke him on)

 

Don't take pokemon into the bathroom!
People might pikachu! (peek at chu)


Edited by Hawaiiant, December 30 2016 - 10:43 AM.

Hawaiiant (Ben)

Keeper of
Miniature Labradoodle
Baby Wolf Spider
Mud Dauber wasp larvae
Ochetellus Glaber
Solenopsis Geminata
Brachymyrmex Obscurior
Cardiocondyla Emeryi
Tetramorium Bicarinatum
Plagiolepis Alluaudi
Anoplolepis Gracilipes
Technomyrmex Difficilis
Pheidole Megacephala
Aholehole fish
Cowrie snail
Sea Fan Worm
100+ sea squirts
Tree seedlings
Ghost Crab
Day Gecko
Small Fat Centipede
Endemic Lacewing larva
Vernal Pool shrimps

#85 Offline Alabama Anter - Posted December 30 2016 - 1:37 PM

Alabama Anter

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,102 posts
  • LocationBoulder, Colorado

In honor of the dead Pokemon Go

How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You pokemon! (poke him on)

Don't take pokemon into the bathroom!
People might pikachu! (peek at chu)

I played Pokémon before it was "cool"
  • dermy and Connectimyrmex like this

YJK


#86 Offline Connectimyrmex - Posted December 30 2016 - 1:45 PM

Connectimyrmex

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,864 posts
  • LocationAvon, Connecticut

 

In honor of the dead Pokemon Go

How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You pokemon! (poke him on)

Don't take pokemon into the bathroom!
People might pikachu! (peek at chu)

I played Pokémon before it was "cool"

 

Pokemon Red and Blue ftw boii

 

no one likes pokemon yellow except some


Hawaiiant (Ben)

Keeper of
Miniature Labradoodle
Baby Wolf Spider
Mud Dauber wasp larvae
Ochetellus Glaber
Solenopsis Geminata
Brachymyrmex Obscurior
Cardiocondyla Emeryi
Tetramorium Bicarinatum
Plagiolepis Alluaudi
Anoplolepis Gracilipes
Technomyrmex Difficilis
Pheidole Megacephala
Aholehole fish
Cowrie snail
Sea Fan Worm
100+ sea squirts
Tree seedlings
Ghost Crab
Day Gecko
Small Fat Centipede
Endemic Lacewing larva
Vernal Pool shrimps

#87 Offline Alabama Anter - Posted December 30 2016 - 2:21 PM

Alabama Anter

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,102 posts
  • LocationBoulder, Colorado


In honor of the dead Pokemon Go

How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You pokemon! (poke him on)

Don't take pokemon into the bathroom!
People might pikachu! (peek at chu)

I played Pokémon before it was "cool"
Pokemon Red and Blue ftw boii

no one likes pokemon yellow except some
I've played all the series. Soul Silver be da besttt. Finished all games within 3 days, won 7 tournaments, got 8th in a Regional, finished Pokémon Sun after a day it came out. Fight me mate

YJK


#88 Offline dspdrew - Posted December 30 2016 - 7:37 PM

dspdrew
  • LocationSanta Ana, CA

you won't appreciate my humor then. 

 

Oh no, I would most likely appreciate it. We just decided to make these simple rules for this public ant keeping forum. I don't run this forum based solely on my own opinions.


  • Martialis likes this

#89 Offline Crystals - Posted January 12 2017 - 7:40 AM

Crystals

    Advanced Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,048 posts
  • LocationAthabasca, AB (Canada)

No so much a joke, but an actual true statement of the weather outside this morning:

 

There are knee deep snowdrifts in my yard from the howling winds yesterday and last night.

It is -38C (-36F) with a windchill of -48C (-54F).

On the bright side, I haven't seen a single mosquito in weeks.


Edited by Crystals, January 12 2017 - 7:43 AM.

  • Martialis and brian like this

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astound the rest." -- Samuel Clemens

 

List of Handy Links   (pinned in the General section)

My Colonies


#90 Offline Crystals - Posted February 14 2017 - 7:18 PM

Crystals

    Advanced Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,048 posts
  • LocationAthabasca, AB (Canada)

Some days my head is like my internet browser.

I have 19 tabs open, 7 are not responding, pop-ups keep magically appearing, and where on earth is that music coming from?!


  • dermy, LC3, Martialis and 2 others like this

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astound the rest." -- Samuel Clemens

 

List of Handy Links   (pinned in the General section)

My Colonies


#91 Offline Martialis - Posted March 4 2017 - 8:03 PM

Martialis

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,516 posts
  • LocationMississippi

VQw1R2N.jpg

 

3wZu0z8.jpg

 

mZDbSu6.png

 

gwzrzA7.jpg

 

 

 

What's the only rock group with four members that don't sing?

 

Mount Rushmore.


Edited by Martialis, March 4 2017 - 8:17 PM.

  • LC3 likes this
Spoiler

#92 Offline CamponotusLover - Posted March 5 2017 - 7:51 AM

CamponotusLover

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 221 posts
  • LocationNew Jersey, USA

heres a joke:

 

I suck at making jokes

 

 

q.q



#93 Offline Crystals - Posted April 3 2017 - 5:03 PM

Crystals

    Advanced Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,048 posts
  • LocationAthabasca, AB (Canada)

If you put two sleeping children into the back of a van, they are guaranteed to wake up and start world war 3 the moment the tires begin to move.

Yet, I can log into the chat room here with 12 people in it and there is silence. Dead silence.

This is yet more proof that Formiculture is actually able to bend the laws of physics and rationality.


  • dermy, LC3, Martialis and 1 other like this

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astound the rest." -- Samuel Clemens

 

List of Handy Links   (pinned in the General section)

My Colonies


#94 Offline Martialis - Posted April 3 2017 - 5:07 PM

Martialis

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,516 posts
  • LocationMississippi

If you put two sleeping children into the back of a van, they are guaranteed to wake up and start world war 3 the moment the tires begin to move.

Yet, I can log into the chat room here with 12 people in it and there is silence. Dead silence.

This is yet more proof that Formiculture is actually able to bend the laws of physics and rationality.

 

As number two of five children, I can vouch for the truth in this statement. 

 

rofl :lol: :lol:


  • Crystals likes this
Spoiler

#95 Offline Nathant2131 - Posted April 13 2017 - 6:47 PM

Nathant2131

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,509 posts
  • LocationDracut, Massachusetts

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

 

Blind.


  • Martialis likes this

#96 Offline Crystals - Posted May 8 2017 - 7:35 PM

Crystals

    Advanced Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,048 posts
  • LocationAthabasca, AB (Canada)

A man watches a lady walk away in an irate huff and leans over to whisper to his confused co-worker, "You may be a seismologist, but the correct term is crow’s feet, not fault lines."


  • Martialis likes this

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astound the rest." -- Samuel Clemens

 

List of Handy Links   (pinned in the General section)

My Colonies


#97 Offline Crystals - Posted September 10 2018 - 5:27 PM

Crystals

    Advanced Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,048 posts
  • LocationAthabasca, AB (Canada)

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I've been really gassy over the last few months, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve passed gas at least four times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent."
The doctor nods and replies, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly."

"Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing."This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have been really gassy the last few months, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve passed gas at least four times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent."

The doctor nods and replies, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly."

"Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing."


  • Martialis likes this

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astound the rest." -- Samuel Clemens

 

List of Handy Links   (pinned in the General section)

My Colonies


#98 Offline Trythis22 - Posted September 10 2018 - 6:45 PM

Trythis22

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 96 posts
  • LocationPortland, Oregon

Old but gold. Cracks me up every time. Click the picture to enlarge, this one's good. 

 

 

M2yb1cR.gif


  • LC3 and Major like this

#99 Offline Major - Posted September 10 2018 - 6:54 PM

Major

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 588 posts
  • LocationRochester, New York
Haha, why wouldn't she accept spiders?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Edited by Major, September 10 2018 - 6:55 PM.


#100 Offline Major - Posted September 10 2018 - 7:00 PM

Major

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 588 posts
  • LocationRochester, New York
A baloney sandwich walked into a bar. The bartender tells him, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Pretty corny, wait. They don't serve that either :lol:

Edited by Major, September 10 2018 - 7:00 PM.

  • DaveJay likes this




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users